There has been a huge,8.8,quake in Chile. This is, I think, the biggest quake I have ever heard of. also, I had no idea that Chile was so far east in longitude-always think of South as being straight down from California but I was wrong about the longitude.
My sister has said about twenty times that "it is really cloudy out". some days I can cope and then on days like this one I feel like screaming. These little warnings of dementia can sometimes drive me straight up the wall. She seems incapable of initiating conversation although she can follow along pretty well and we can have very good conversations regarding our shared childhood and stories of relatives but if left to herself we would just go over and over "it's cloudy today,sure is a beautiful day and on and on until I get up and change the focus. Well she is my sister and has no one else so I do it and Steve does it and the rest of MY family does it. Her son does nothing-oh no- he does include her on his group cell phone list.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
2/23/2010
How different our lives are than those who signed 2/23/1910, I of course wasn't there but I do remember the history stories.
Breakfast of miso soup and brown rice-yum how wonderful and filling. Increasingly moving away from meat and milk and eggs and cheese and moving towards grains and rice and vegetables and fruits. Miso is wonderful-warm and soothing and nourishing.
Added up B's cigarette cost-minimum of $350 a month!! Can't imagine her quitting when with the dementia she can't remember what she is doing from one five minutes to the other.
She contributes $500 a month toward the household but most of that is used to finance the cigarette thing. The addiction to tobacco is a significant factor in our monthly budget.
AND I thank god/goddess/goodness that I quit years ago.
El Cerrito farmer's Market today!! looking forward to the wonderful porduce at reasonable prices although not the cheap prices of earlier times still the prices are so MUCH better than Safeway/Luckys/Andronicos,etc.
Breakfast of miso soup and brown rice-yum how wonderful and filling. Increasingly moving away from meat and milk and eggs and cheese and moving towards grains and rice and vegetables and fruits. Miso is wonderful-warm and soothing and nourishing.
Added up B's cigarette cost-minimum of $350 a month!! Can't imagine her quitting when with the dementia she can't remember what she is doing from one five minutes to the other.
She contributes $500 a month toward the household but most of that is used to finance the cigarette thing. The addiction to tobacco is a significant factor in our monthly budget.
AND I thank god/goddess/goodness that I quit years ago.
El Cerrito farmer's Market today!! looking forward to the wonderful porduce at reasonable prices although not the cheap prices of earlier times still the prices are so MUCH better than Safeway/Luckys/Andronicos,etc.
Monday, February 22, 2010
02/22/2010
Happy Birthday George Washington. This is the morning that we take the Princess to the vet for her procedure and shots. Next month we start with the boys. Serious expense here but one that cannot be avoided. I am praying that California pays Steve for past work-summer work earnings and December work. I know that the state is really pushing one of his clients who is actually quite ill to take twelve nits rather than the nine that he is really capable of doing. He is a wonderment-a veteran who fell into evil ways and then converted in prison or as he says "Jesus saved my life". At any rate this conversion has taken him through higher education and into a masters program in one of the seminaries on Holy Hill behind UC. I can see on his face how exhausted he is-he turns a gray cast I imagine because he has only one lung now and various other disabilities and he needs more rest than he is getting. He is an asst. pastor at a church close to us.
Steve's other client said that she couldn't work with Steve because he is not available enough but I can see by what they were working on that she has lost her way with her doctorate from UC. Steve said that "she is too involved with being disabled to write at this time." She is one of the gardening people and I miss her but didn't know her really well.
I am going to plant potatoes this week. I have a rejected bicycle hauler that is just the correct size for holding the bags of potting soil I will use. what I have to do today after leaving Princess at the vet is look up the sources here for planting potatoes cannot use the commercial ones must use those for planting only. I want to go over to the garden business just under the ramp to go to Costco-they have a planting soil that is black pellets and the things raised in this stuff just grow so huge and happy.
I noticed that the sage I planted last year is still small like a midget but it has turned into a bush with a strong core-the sage leaves are fairly mild.
I dreamed that I met this wonderful woman, a bond therapist, that I had been wanting to meet. she had knowledge that I craved and she was visiting in my home and the sun was shining. I had an appointment with her at her office/home. I went downtown and the business district was so wiped out hardly anything left (Telegraph Ave?). I wanted to get my hair cut in a certain way and although I did get my hair cut I wasn't happy with it, the cut did not flatter me or my hair. I get advice from her to it cut from underneath. Well I went into one business to get coffee and a snack and see that in the background people with money are getting the old type of food and service but they are all leaving. I realize that I am late for my appointment I should have been there at 12 noon but it is now 12:25. As I am leaving the restaurant I pass a young man with a suitcase of dead birds that he had hunted and is bringing to the restaurant for the wealthy folk to eat after the kitchen prepares them and then I encounter a goat which wants to follow me and I pet the goat who has a warm,full belly and although I like the goat I cannot take him with me and motion to his owner for the the owner to take over (oh!! Pluto in Capricorn-good omens here that I will not be taken in by the fascist dodo coming our way). In good dream fashion I am anxious to get to her house even though I have already been there. I am quite anxious to get there and decide to spend some family money to pay for a cab. I go to the cab area much like Shattuck used to be and there are no cabs. I see a young man who could be a cabbie but he says no hi is not a cabbie. I somehow finally procure a cab which is a huge black limousine thing and off we go. We are rear-ended and then we read-end someone very confusing. I get to my wonderful therapist but she is already preparing for her next person and I am regretful but she is not rejecting me and helps me with my appearance so that I fit in better and I am planing on going back home.
Steve's other client said that she couldn't work with Steve because he is not available enough but I can see by what they were working on that she has lost her way with her doctorate from UC. Steve said that "she is too involved with being disabled to write at this time." She is one of the gardening people and I miss her but didn't know her really well.
I am going to plant potatoes this week. I have a rejected bicycle hauler that is just the correct size for holding the bags of potting soil I will use. what I have to do today after leaving Princess at the vet is look up the sources here for planting potatoes cannot use the commercial ones must use those for planting only. I want to go over to the garden business just under the ramp to go to Costco-they have a planting soil that is black pellets and the things raised in this stuff just grow so huge and happy.
I noticed that the sage I planted last year is still small like a midget but it has turned into a bush with a strong core-the sage leaves are fairly mild.
I dreamed that I met this wonderful woman, a bond therapist, that I had been wanting to meet. she had knowledge that I craved and she was visiting in my home and the sun was shining. I had an appointment with her at her office/home. I went downtown and the business district was so wiped out hardly anything left (Telegraph Ave?). I wanted to get my hair cut in a certain way and although I did get my hair cut I wasn't happy with it, the cut did not flatter me or my hair. I get advice from her to it cut from underneath. Well I went into one business to get coffee and a snack and see that in the background people with money are getting the old type of food and service but they are all leaving. I realize that I am late for my appointment I should have been there at 12 noon but it is now 12:25. As I am leaving the restaurant I pass a young man with a suitcase of dead birds that he had hunted and is bringing to the restaurant for the wealthy folk to eat after the kitchen prepares them and then I encounter a goat which wants to follow me and I pet the goat who has a warm,full belly and although I like the goat I cannot take him with me and motion to his owner for the the owner to take over (oh!! Pluto in Capricorn-good omens here that I will not be taken in by the fascist dodo coming our way). In good dream fashion I am anxious to get to her house even though I have already been there. I am quite anxious to get there and decide to spend some family money to pay for a cab. I go to the cab area much like Shattuck used to be and there are no cabs. I see a young man who could be a cabbie but he says no hi is not a cabbie. I somehow finally procure a cab which is a huge black limousine thing and off we go. We are rear-ended and then we read-end someone very confusing. I get to my wonderful therapist but she is already preparing for her next person and I am regretful but she is not rejecting me and helps me with my appearance so that I fit in better and I am planing on going back home.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
02/21/22010-sunday
Isaiah 3:1-14
Judgment on Judah and Jerusalem
1 For behold, the Lord, the LORD of hosts,
Takes away from Jerusalem and from Judah
The stock and the store,
The whole supply of bread and the whole supply of water;
2 The mighty man and the man of war,
The judge and the prophet,
And the diviner and the elder;
3 The captain of fifty and the honorable man,
The counselor and the skillful artisan,
And the expert enchanter.
4 " I will give children to be their princes,
And babes shall rule over them.
5 The people will be oppressed,
Every one by another and every one by his neighbor;
The child will be insolent toward the elder,
And the base toward the honorable."
6 When a man takes hold of his brother
In the house of his father, saying,
" You have clothing;
You be our ruler,
And let these ruins be under your power,"
7 In that day he will protest, saying,
" I cannot cure your ills,
For in my house is neither food nor clothing;
Do not make me a ruler of the people."
8 For Jerusalem stumbled,
And Judah is fallen,
Because their tongue and their doings
Are against the LORD,
To provoke the eyes of His glory.
9 The look on their countenance witnesses against them,
And they declare their sin as Sodom;
They do not hide it.
Woe to their soul!
For they have brought evil upon themselves.
10 " Say to the righteous that it shall be well with them,
For they shall eat the fruit of their doings.
11 Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him,
For the reward of his hands shall be given him.
12 As for My people, children are their oppressors,
And women rule over them.
O My people! Those who lead you cause you to err,
And destroy the way of your paths."
Oppression and Luxury Condemned
13 The LORD stands up to plead,
And stands to judge the people.
14 The LORD will enter into judgment
With the elders of His people
And His princes:
" For you have eaten up the vineyard;
The plunder of the poor is in your houses.
I have always loved Isaiah-that is where we have the dream of beating our swords into plows as well but this passage is from the Russian Orthodox liturgy. and it says better the consequences of greed and selfishness than I ever could-and this spirit is found everywhere in magazines and on TV and in the newspapers. I have been profoundly caught up in this which is why I am always running out of money. the best teacher of the blessing of simplicity and modesty was Robert who while utterly insane around sex and women and men lived quietly within his boundries and when he died left his house and the entire inheritance from him mother of $32,000 (which sadly John stole because John was the only one together enough in the Capricorn sense of that word to have the credit to take over the house and to demand that Gerald surrender all rights to all of Robert's estate to cover the expenses of flying Gerald over here,etc.)
Lately I am reading 'Our Lady OF The Red Thread" a Russian Orthodox Empress type woman a painter and writer. I am also reading Old Babushka from a link on the Our Lady of The Red Thread site. I have been drawn again to more mystical spiritual processes especially now that I am clear in my anger with organized religion and the childish (perhaps only my childish understanding)interpretation of god.) I love reading about living on a deeper level of dedicating our lives to our deepest values-I am more at peace with my own personal life and the fact that I am happy now even though I made horrible mistakes when young. I am living my life as close as I can to the demands of modesty, humility,frugality, family, support of the future in the young people. I am learning to back away somewhat from the anger of politics the better to be "here" when more crazy folk fly their planes into office buildings,etc and believe me people are being manipulated to that end by forces I don't understand.
Judgment on Judah and Jerusalem
1 For behold, the Lord, the LORD of hosts,
Takes away from Jerusalem and from Judah
The stock and the store,
The whole supply of bread and the whole supply of water;
2 The mighty man and the man of war,
The judge and the prophet,
And the diviner and the elder;
3 The captain of fifty and the honorable man,
The counselor and the skillful artisan,
And the expert enchanter.
4 " I will give children to be their princes,
And babes shall rule over them.
5 The people will be oppressed,
Every one by another and every one by his neighbor;
The child will be insolent toward the elder,
And the base toward the honorable."
6 When a man takes hold of his brother
In the house of his father, saying,
" You have clothing;
You be our ruler,
And let these ruins be under your power,"
7 In that day he will protest, saying,
" I cannot cure your ills,
For in my house is neither food nor clothing;
Do not make me a ruler of the people."
8 For Jerusalem stumbled,
And Judah is fallen,
Because their tongue and their doings
Are against the LORD,
To provoke the eyes of His glory.
9 The look on their countenance witnesses against them,
And they declare their sin as Sodom;
They do not hide it.
Woe to their soul!
For they have brought evil upon themselves.
10 " Say to the righteous that it shall be well with them,
For they shall eat the fruit of their doings.
11 Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him,
For the reward of his hands shall be given him.
12 As for My people, children are their oppressors,
And women rule over them.
O My people! Those who lead you cause you to err,
And destroy the way of your paths."
Oppression and Luxury Condemned
13 The LORD stands up to plead,
And stands to judge the people.
14 The LORD will enter into judgment
With the elders of His people
And His princes:
" For you have eaten up the vineyard;
The plunder of the poor is in your houses.
I have always loved Isaiah-that is where we have the dream of beating our swords into plows as well but this passage is from the Russian Orthodox liturgy. and it says better the consequences of greed and selfishness than I ever could-and this spirit is found everywhere in magazines and on TV and in the newspapers. I have been profoundly caught up in this which is why I am always running out of money. the best teacher of the blessing of simplicity and modesty was Robert who while utterly insane around sex and women and men lived quietly within his boundries and when he died left his house and the entire inheritance from him mother of $32,000 (which sadly John stole because John was the only one together enough in the Capricorn sense of that word to have the credit to take over the house and to demand that Gerald surrender all rights to all of Robert's estate to cover the expenses of flying Gerald over here,etc.)
Lately I am reading 'Our Lady OF The Red Thread" a Russian Orthodox Empress type woman a painter and writer. I am also reading Old Babushka from a link on the Our Lady of The Red Thread site. I have been drawn again to more mystical spiritual processes especially now that I am clear in my anger with organized religion and the childish (perhaps only my childish understanding)interpretation of god.) I love reading about living on a deeper level of dedicating our lives to our deepest values-I am more at peace with my own personal life and the fact that I am happy now even though I made horrible mistakes when young. I am living my life as close as I can to the demands of modesty, humility,frugality, family, support of the future in the young people. I am learning to back away somewhat from the anger of politics the better to be "here" when more crazy folk fly their planes into office buildings,etc and believe me people are being manipulated to that end by forces I don't understand.
sunday 02/21/2010
Okay times are times of tight budgets as I have been writing. This morning I made up a batch of season mix for roasting some nuts to supplement our diet with protein for today because i have several packages of nuts- frozen left overs from the holidays
I used the following mix:
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon ancho chili powder
1/2 teaspoon-New Mexico chili powder
1/4teaspoon white pepper
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1//4 teaspoon regular salt
This is good just sprinkled on the thawed nuts but I am also planning now to roast some cashew peices and to then sprinkle the nuts with the mix while the nuts are warm.
so in love these days. Living with my partner Steve is wonderful-we are on an adventure together. He is the only person with whom I have been able to freely discuss my deepest aspirations and desires. Even when he doesn't agree or has a hard time following he is so gentle and yet so solid that I have always felt free to just talk and write away.
I used the following mix:
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon ancho chili powder
1/2 teaspoon-New Mexico chili powder
1/4teaspoon white pepper
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1//4 teaspoon regular salt
This is good just sprinkled on the thawed nuts but I am also planning now to roast some cashew peices and to then sprinkle the nuts with the mix while the nuts are warm.
so in love these days. Living with my partner Steve is wonderful-we are on an adventure together. He is the only person with whom I have been able to freely discuss my deepest aspirations and desires. Even when he doesn't agree or has a hard time following he is so gentle and yet so solid that I have always felt free to just talk and write away.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday 02/19/2010
What a wonderful thing. I discovered the site "vegetarian on the cheap" full of good recipes but even more dedicated to living frugally which is what I must do now. while I know how to live frugally I have not been focused nor committed to actually living frugally as a way of life in fact I have been cooking Martha Stewart like on my pensioner's budget.
What is so thrilling to me is that this comes at the end of Mars retrograde through Leo ending at the very base of my chart-I have come up with something creative to address the problem of not having money to stretch all month. I used to know how to do this the making menus and bulk shopping but over the years I "forgot". I gave up housekeeping to become the bread-winner and frankly I was too tired to maintain that well run cupboard.
We were spending sooo much money running every other day to the supermarket down the hill to get the ingredients for what we were wanting to cook/eat that day and of course picking up items we never intended to buy and by the end of the third week we are totally out money and the cupboard is getting bare. Time to change and here it is and I am full of gratitude today and I am visioning an entire new way of life here. Forget the Martha Stewart/Gourmet way of life. I have never "had money"but I sure wanted money and a glossy life although of course no one has a glossy life not even those who can afford the best organic produce in the land.
What is so thrilling to me is that this comes at the end of Mars retrograde through Leo ending at the very base of my chart-I have come up with something creative to address the problem of not having money to stretch all month. I used to know how to do this the making menus and bulk shopping but over the years I "forgot". I gave up housekeeping to become the bread-winner and frankly I was too tired to maintain that well run cupboard.
We were spending sooo much money running every other day to the supermarket down the hill to get the ingredients for what we were wanting to cook/eat that day and of course picking up items we never intended to buy and by the end of the third week we are totally out money and the cupboard is getting bare. Time to change and here it is and I am full of gratitude today and I am visioning an entire new way of life here. Forget the Martha Stewart/Gourmet way of life. I have never "had money"but I sure wanted money and a glossy life although of course no one has a glossy life not even those who can afford the best organic produce in the land.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday 02/18/2010
There is a site Our Lady of the Red Thread of devotion to Our Lady. I feel closest to this Lady of all the published connections that i have come across. My first 'visitation" came in 1975 when I was working for the county and Gerald was coming to see Amy. I was still rattled by the guilt over abandoning Lisa and Shawn and then my marriage to Gerald. I wrote a poem that day entitled "Holy Mother Of Tears". I knew nothing about Mary and I didn't ,yet, understand Jung referring to the majesty of the Assumption of Mary. I had been raised Protestant with no reference to the Feminine except in our mothers, sisters, selves,aunts and cousins and grandmothers and was totally unprepared for a visit from Our Mother but that is what happened. Not anything magical no Presence,etc but a full grown ,full fleshed understanding of the Holy Mother of Tears, of Her presence in my life. Truthfully there has been no other religion or faith besides her in my heart-I didn't realize this as I tasted Buddhism,meditation,etc. I eventually joined the Catholics under the protection of the old civil rights/human rights priests and nuns but had to exit when the new priest taking father George's place issued a Sunday bulletin advising "all gay,bisexuals,lesbian and transgender to seek church at Newman Hall where they would be welcome. Broke my heart and was the beginning of the end for me although I still miss certain rites such as Ash Wednesday and the getting of ashes and I continue to love the mass and the music-have a bookmark for the Anonymous 4 from Stanford-my soul vibrates to that sound.
I have discovered a wonderful way to serve the clemtines and other oranges: slice fully ripe ones that are sweet and juicy sprinkle with salt and chile sauce. I love Trader Joe's jalapeno hot sauce but if I am out Crystal hot sauce works very well. when I first started eating this no one believed me but when I serve it up they all really li8ke the combination. I got the idea from Mexican's and the way they serve fruit salad with citrus and red pepper the heat of the chili somehow makes the fruit sweeter.
I plan to make the squash and lentil soup today even though the beautiful fog will probably burn away and there will be warm,sunny weather.
the oven is broken won't heat up only up to 275 degrees-yuck.
I have discovered a wonderful way to serve the clemtines and other oranges: slice fully ripe ones that are sweet and juicy sprinkle with salt and chile sauce. I love Trader Joe's jalapeno hot sauce but if I am out Crystal hot sauce works very well. when I first started eating this no one believed me but when I serve it up they all really li8ke the combination. I got the idea from Mexican's and the way they serve fruit salad with citrus and red pepper the heat of the chili somehow makes the fruit sweeter.
I plan to make the squash and lentil soup today even though the beautiful fog will probably burn away and there will be warm,sunny weather.
the oven is broken won't heat up only up to 275 degrees-yuck.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
02/16/2010
I am wanting a new house. One with a much larger kitchen with gas range and tall ceilings and tall windows like a house I once visited in San Francisco the stood on a hill in the Noe Valley area. I want three bedrooms and at least 1&1/2 baths. I don't know where I want to live-San Francisco or Berkeley although El Cerrito and Albany are possibilities.
I live on the street so to speak and I need the feeling of being out with people who are busy. Well that is untrue I am almost a recluse I spend so much time at home but when I need something in the world I walk or use the bus which contains a lot of interaction with people I don't know and I learn a lot about how people are seeing things as far as fashion,etc.
I want to change how I have been living. I am now retired. the part of my life as a householder,etc. is over and while I remain the breadwinner,etc I am changing- no longer so willing to be the one doing the heavy lifting, letting go a little.
This thought keeps coming and I feel weary when I think of packing and moving, of cleaning up this place after emptying.
Wanting change not knowing what-Mars retrograde at the end of the retrograde season -3+ Leo-exactly square my natal mars-so I want a change and want more room and elegance and space in my life through images of the expanded home-lots of light and sunshine white and blue space between that which is related.
I live on the street so to speak and I need the feeling of being out with people who are busy. Well that is untrue I am almost a recluse I spend so much time at home but when I need something in the world I walk or use the bus which contains a lot of interaction with people I don't know and I learn a lot about how people are seeing things as far as fashion,etc.
I want to change how I have been living. I am now retired. the part of my life as a householder,etc. is over and while I remain the breadwinner,etc I am changing- no longer so willing to be the one doing the heavy lifting, letting go a little.
This thought keeps coming and I feel weary when I think of packing and moving, of cleaning up this place after emptying.
Wanting change not knowing what-Mars retrograde at the end of the retrograde season -3+ Leo-exactly square my natal mars-so I want a change and want more room and elegance and space in my life through images of the expanded home-lots of light and sunshine white and blue space between that which is related.
Monday, February 15, 2010
02/15/2010
Stil love writing out 2010-wonder what is up with that-this is a three year?
Someone else writing that Haiti and DC are weather manipulation. I have thought of that especially Haiti-I know that big corporations want Haiti as a slave island. They want to take over the land and force the people into wage slavery-that is why Aristide was not allowed to work for his people and only fat jerks like Baby Doc,etc were allowed.
I noticed once again the attempt to present the survivors as marauding killers ready to rape and pillage in order to take everything for themselves just as some of the press during Katrina attempted to present the survivors in the sports arena as raping, killing marauders only later admitting in little passages on back pages that that was NEVER true.
I daily witness so much propaganda that I imagine most of what is going on right now is the attempt to get us to go to war against each other. I am not at the point of believing that the "Illuminati"are doing "it" but I have observed that the TV will be full of stories about the "Last Days"m that we have televised arguments between this(Obama) administration and the Bush administration. Someone is up to mind-control. I see it daily,hear it wonder where we are headed.
Someone else writing that Haiti and DC are weather manipulation. I have thought of that especially Haiti-I know that big corporations want Haiti as a slave island. They want to take over the land and force the people into wage slavery-that is why Aristide was not allowed to work for his people and only fat jerks like Baby Doc,etc were allowed.
I noticed once again the attempt to present the survivors as marauding killers ready to rape and pillage in order to take everything for themselves just as some of the press during Katrina attempted to present the survivors in the sports arena as raping, killing marauders only later admitting in little passages on back pages that that was NEVER true.
I daily witness so much propaganda that I imagine most of what is going on right now is the attempt to get us to go to war against each other. I am not at the point of believing that the "Illuminati"are doing "it" but I have observed that the TV will be full of stories about the "Last Days"m that we have televised arguments between this(Obama) administration and the Bush administration. Someone is up to mind-control. I see it daily,hear it wonder where we are headed.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
02/13/2010
I still don't understand just how this program works: the immediately proceeding post was a copy of my offering as a comment in Hecate one of my favorite, go there daily sites. I was startled and delighted to find the Merton poem there and I was startled and delighted with Merton's poem just delighted. I wanted to capture the poem and my response to it.
Early morning-I love to write in the dark before anyone else gets up. steve gets up but has his own writing to do sp he writes in hiw room and I write in mine.
No change in the money house so I will bake bread today and make soup and write and watch the Olympics although there has been a death of a young luge driver and I am not so enchanted at the moment but the athletes are so lovely, so strong and focused and they draw me away from my own worries.
WELL!! Scientist, no doubt working for Nestles, are thinking that eating chocolate my help prevent strokes. HEHEHE!! I can see it now sitting here trying to write while my hand is in a pile of chocolate.CURRENT MOON
moon phases
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Poetry Blogging
O Sweet Irrational Worship
by Thomas Merton
Wind and a bobwhite
And the afternoon sun.
By ceasing to question the sun
I have become light,
Bird and wind.
My leaves sing.
I am earth, earth
All these lighted things
Grow from my heart.
A tall, spare pine
Stands like the initial of my first
Name when I had one.
When I had a spirit,
When I was on fire
When this valley was
Made out of fresh air
You spoke my name
In naming Your silence:
O sweet, irrational worship!
I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers.
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected.
I am earth, earth
Out of my grass heart
Rises the bobwhite.
Out of my nameless weeds
His foolish worship. 00
Early morning news: the assholes believe that this monster winter is proof that there is no climate change going on. Inofe,DeMenthe (spg??)two idiots who are rightwingers. Inoffe is an MD wonder how this hater ever got through medical school. Well I imagine that I am sounding like a hater myself right now and I imagine that I am at least towards these extreme right-wingers and their Jesus who is coming back. Their- what is it? one hundred forty five thousand going home to Jesus? I wonder if they even realize what a small number of humans that is? Do they honestly think that they will get the call? and why would one want a heaven so heavily segregated and so hopelessly cruel-I mean only a few grains of sand chosen from the entire beach!!
I am a Mother lover. My Mother supports us all strong in the wisdom that we will all end up with the fruits of our labors. My Mther
Early morning-I love to write in the dark before anyone else gets up. steve gets up but has his own writing to do sp he writes in hiw room and I write in mine.
No change in the money house so I will bake bread today and make soup and write and watch the Olympics although there has been a death of a young luge driver and I am not so enchanted at the moment but the athletes are so lovely, so strong and focused and they draw me away from my own worries.
WELL!! Scientist, no doubt working for Nestles, are thinking that eating chocolate my help prevent strokes. HEHEHE!! I can see it now sitting here trying to write while my hand is in a pile of chocolate.CURRENT MOON
moon phases
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Poetry Blogging
O Sweet Irrational Worship
by Thomas Merton
Wind and a bobwhite
And the afternoon sun.
By ceasing to question the sun
I have become light,
Bird and wind.
My leaves sing.
I am earth, earth
All these lighted things
Grow from my heart.
A tall, spare pine
Stands like the initial of my first
Name when I had one.
When I had a spirit,
When I was on fire
When this valley was
Made out of fresh air
You spoke my name
In naming Your silence:
O sweet, irrational worship!
I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers.
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected.
I am earth, earth
Out of my grass heart
Rises the bobwhite.
Out of my nameless weeds
His foolish worship. 00
Early morning news: the assholes believe that this monster winter is proof that there is no climate change going on. Inofe,DeMenthe (spg??)two idiots who are rightwingers. Inoffe is an MD wonder how this hater ever got through medical school. Well I imagine that I am sounding like a hater myself right now and I imagine that I am at least towards these extreme right-wingers and their Jesus who is coming back. Their- what is it? one hundred forty five thousand going home to Jesus? I wonder if they even realize what a small number of humans that is? Do they honestly think that they will get the call? and why would one want a heaven so heavily segregated and so hopelessly cruel-I mean only a few grains of sand chosen from the entire beach!!
I am a Mother lover. My Mother supports us all strong in the wisdom that we will all end up with the fruits of our labors. My Mther
Saturday 02/13/2010
thank you for this very deep poem. I loved Thomas Merton in a way he has been one of my guides in that I loved him deeply and read everything I could find by him. My personal favorite passage is found in his pre-priest days when he was comparing the Cuban image of Mother's Day and the American image. He pointed out that our images of "Mother" were of someone old enough to be grandmother or even great grandmother. He went on to discuss that this came about due to the American fear of sex nor wanting to hint at the sex involved in motherhood. This essay found in the early journal before entering the monestary shaped much of my outlook in the years to come.CURRENT MOON
moon phases
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Poetry Blogging
O Sweet Irrational Worship
by Thomas Merton
Wind and a bobwhite
And the afternoon sun.
By ceasing to question the sun
I have become light,
Bird and wind.
My leaves sing.
I am earth, earth
All these lighted things
Grow from my heart.
A tall, spare pine
Stands like the initial of my first
Name when I had one.
When I had a spirit,
When I was on fire
When this valley was
Made out of fresh air
You spoke my name
In naming Your silence:
O sweet, irrational worship!
I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers.
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected.
I am earth, earth
Out of my grass heart
Rises the bobwhite.
Out of my nameless weeds
His foolish worship. This is the sweetest understanding. I have a copy of Thomas Merton poetry that my dear friend J Able gave me. I have not read it in detail but I know that I will be pulling it off the shelf today to peruse.
moon phases
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Poetry Blogging
O Sweet Irrational Worship
by Thomas Merton
Wind and a bobwhite
And the afternoon sun.
By ceasing to question the sun
I have become light,
Bird and wind.
My leaves sing.
I am earth, earth
All these lighted things
Grow from my heart.
A tall, spare pine
Stands like the initial of my first
Name when I had one.
When I had a spirit,
When I was on fire
When this valley was
Made out of fresh air
You spoke my name
In naming Your silence:
O sweet, irrational worship!
I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers.
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected.
I am earth, earth
Out of my grass heart
Rises the bobwhite.
Out of my nameless weeds
His foolish worship. This is the sweetest understanding. I have a copy of Thomas Merton poetry that my dear friend J Able gave me. I have not read it in detail but I know that I will be pulling it off the shelf today to peruse.
Friday, February 12, 2010
02/12/2010
Okay-transiting Pluto quincunx, from the ninth house, the Gemini Sun in the second house. Irritation caused by the the fascist spirit from foreign points creatiing harshness in the money realms. Irritation indeed problems getting money although the conservative spirit fits well with my innate conservatism. this will go on for sometime because all during the Pluto through Capricorn transit my Gemini and Leo will be lit up.
I am not so clear on what the Pluto conjunct the MC will be about. I imagine that I "will get it" as an intuitive flash and then I will struggle to express my understanding lucidly.
I am not so clear on what the Pluto conjunct the MC will be about. I imagine that I "will get it" as an intuitive flash and then I will struggle to express my understanding lucidly.
02/12/2010
So I was laying down after another weird morning: the bank paid the T-Mobile account early and wiped away the pending Kaiser payment and left us with $2.15 in the account and many days before the regular income deposits start again. And I started to wash the walls from the almost fire Wednesday morning when Steve started water for my coffee but turned on the wrong electric burner and went back to work and when he looked up the kitchen light had a strange glow.... Just in time to avoid a real fire. god smoke residue is really hard to get off the walls and ceiling.
So as I say I was laying down resting getting up the nerve to tackle life again and I was thinking of a piece I had read about the death of Pope John Paul I who died 33 or so days after he was crowned Pope. Evidently he had plans for dismantling the Crown of Rome and this has led many to believe that he was murdered and I have always assumed that he was even though I still converted much later. I loved Mary and the RC's are the only Western or Asian, for that matter, tradition that has assumed Mary into heaven. Still I left the Church within four years and I have not returned because of the fascistic turn of the church since John Paul I died and now with Benedict there is no possibility that I would return although I will always love jesus but I cannot believe that Jesus would approve of what is going on under Benedict.
Well I noticed the other day that Pluto by transit is now quincunxing my Saturn and my sun creating a Finger of God and Pluto is also trining my Mars and Venus sitting together in Taurus which are natally squaring Saturn. ( sidebar entered later-Jupiter and Venus are in early Pisces which makes a fulcrumed trine with transiting Pluto and natal Mars and a square to my beloved natal Sun in Gemini (love the freedom of the wind from that Gemini Sun)and also creating another Finger of God to Neptune and Saturn all of this just to say WOW what a time not just for the world but also in my own individual world my tiny less than microscopic reality) I also thought of Pluto in Capricorn in my 9th house and full of thinking of the possible murder of John Paul I and the people involved who included the current President/Prime Minister of Italy Berlusconi and that weird Vatican banker who ended up hanging from a famous bridge in Rome and others of like him and I "saw" what it means to have Capricorn on the cusp of the 9th house: corporatism as religion and higher mind stuff. I have always relied on the "leaders" the "elders to tell me what to think and what to believe. I have always believed that my elders understand better than I do. Saturn is ruler of my ninth house as ruler of Capricorn and here we go: my Saturn is right now highlighted by Pluto as described earlier. And i find myself adrift now in terms of religion in terms of what I think life is. Crash,slash,burn and bury all that has been dearest to my heart my belief in god and angels and afterlife. I had the deepest feeling of emptiness that drives me to medicate myself for depression and pain and anxiety. I really do although never to the point of intoxication just enough to take the edge off. I will sometimes get this feeling if i forget to take the anti-depressants (I just heard Joan Armetrading on the TV!!)and I feel flat, stripped of all I believe and left only with what I can physically attest to. When that happens I believe that there is a chemical rebalance going on which eases after some period of time.
So I am going through this today and this week and I "saw" the fascism inherent in my philosophical outlook, the religion I inherited I guess although I am not blaming people-this is collective stuff here-everyone is to blame and so no one is to blame. I cannot ,ever return to my native religion and I have definite issues regarding safety. I have begun to realize that I will die or rather I should say that I feel the reality of life here and I don't want to continue acting as if this will not in time be over. Life that is this thing I just came to in-I have no idea how I got here for that matter I don't even know what here is. I don't know and I have never known where I came from nor where we go or if identity is even anything. So so much up in the "air" hehe! a whole lot of shaking going on.
At any rate this afternoon I have touched something really alive in "seeing" all the activity in my chart. I realize that I will be spending a lot of time understanding my chart and my life and perhaps as Pluto transits Capricorn and my ninth house and MC I will come to understand what I am doing here probably through conflict with fascistic times. I read and hear things on all the media outlets that stagger me and I long for the days when Pluto is not quite highlighted in my life.
I will now proceed to the kitchen to make vegi chili and roasted cauliflower soup for dinner and I will clean some more and mop the floor. These activities ground me and comfort me and rest me.
So as I say I was laying down resting getting up the nerve to tackle life again and I was thinking of a piece I had read about the death of Pope John Paul I who died 33 or so days after he was crowned Pope. Evidently he had plans for dismantling the Crown of Rome and this has led many to believe that he was murdered and I have always assumed that he was even though I still converted much later. I loved Mary and the RC's are the only Western or Asian, for that matter, tradition that has assumed Mary into heaven. Still I left the Church within four years and I have not returned because of the fascistic turn of the church since John Paul I died and now with Benedict there is no possibility that I would return although I will always love jesus but I cannot believe that Jesus would approve of what is going on under Benedict.
Well I noticed the other day that Pluto by transit is now quincunxing my Saturn and my sun creating a Finger of God and Pluto is also trining my Mars and Venus sitting together in Taurus which are natally squaring Saturn. ( sidebar entered later-Jupiter and Venus are in early Pisces which makes a fulcrumed trine with transiting Pluto and natal Mars and a square to my beloved natal Sun in Gemini (love the freedom of the wind from that Gemini Sun)and also creating another Finger of God to Neptune and Saturn all of this just to say WOW what a time not just for the world but also in my own individual world my tiny less than microscopic reality) I also thought of Pluto in Capricorn in my 9th house and full of thinking of the possible murder of John Paul I and the people involved who included the current President/Prime Minister of Italy Berlusconi and that weird Vatican banker who ended up hanging from a famous bridge in Rome and others of like him and I "saw" what it means to have Capricorn on the cusp of the 9th house: corporatism as religion and higher mind stuff. I have always relied on the "leaders" the "elders to tell me what to think and what to believe. I have always believed that my elders understand better than I do. Saturn is ruler of my ninth house as ruler of Capricorn and here we go: my Saturn is right now highlighted by Pluto as described earlier. And i find myself adrift now in terms of religion in terms of what I think life is. Crash,slash,burn and bury all that has been dearest to my heart my belief in god and angels and afterlife. I had the deepest feeling of emptiness that drives me to medicate myself for depression and pain and anxiety. I really do although never to the point of intoxication just enough to take the edge off. I will sometimes get this feeling if i forget to take the anti-depressants (I just heard Joan Armetrading on the TV!!)and I feel flat, stripped of all I believe and left only with what I can physically attest to. When that happens I believe that there is a chemical rebalance going on which eases after some period of time.
So I am going through this today and this week and I "saw" the fascism inherent in my philosophical outlook, the religion I inherited I guess although I am not blaming people-this is collective stuff here-everyone is to blame and so no one is to blame. I cannot ,ever return to my native religion and I have definite issues regarding safety. I have begun to realize that I will die or rather I should say that I feel the reality of life here and I don't want to continue acting as if this will not in time be over. Life that is this thing I just came to in-I have no idea how I got here for that matter I don't even know what here is. I don't know and I have never known where I came from nor where we go or if identity is even anything. So so much up in the "air" hehe! a whole lot of shaking going on.
At any rate this afternoon I have touched something really alive in "seeing" all the activity in my chart. I realize that I will be spending a lot of time understanding my chart and my life and perhaps as Pluto transits Capricorn and my ninth house and MC I will come to understand what I am doing here probably through conflict with fascistic times. I read and hear things on all the media outlets that stagger me and I long for the days when Pluto is not quite highlighted in my life.
I will now proceed to the kitchen to make vegi chili and roasted cauliflower soup for dinner and I will clean some more and mop the floor. These activities ground me and comfort me and rest me.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday 2/8/2010
I love having five kitties although admittedly the shift from four to five was harder than I thought. The little girl cat whom we have named,Princesss, had been traumatized and left in the family that traumatized her when we finally got her over here and she was being hated by her mother who planned to drive her out of the house or to kill her so she wasn't part of our rough and innocent boys, her siblings at least in the beginnings. Now she is fitting in and loves her brothers even if she does spend a lot of time laying flat down the better to keep her brothers from cleaning her po-po. they love that smell and they would love to cllean her perpetually at least until they are all a few months older and can then connect on a much deeper level-pooh!! we will take her to the doctor the month of the 22nd and end her rreproductive life before it starts really.
I have been feeling guilty about the neutering of the little cats who have not even had a harsh word from us and then I plan to take them to strangers who will invade and hurt and cut asunder something I promised my own self following the bladder surgery of 1974 or so that I would never allow again except perhaps to save my own life. So here I am preparing to really hurt these little beings becaause I cannot allow them to reproduce when there are already hundreds of little ones homeless and tortured and hungry,etc. Or at least this is the thinking about no birth control for cats. We love these little guys and I love to come into the house after being out and finding them all layed out over chairs and rugs and shelves. this is so beautiful. Seems to me that they are a gift from the Divine realms sent to grow love.
I have been feeling guilty about the neutering of the little cats who have not even had a harsh word from us and then I plan to take them to strangers who will invade and hurt and cut asunder something I promised my own self following the bladder surgery of 1974 or so that I would never allow again except perhaps to save my own life. So here I am preparing to really hurt these little beings becaause I cannot allow them to reproduce when there are already hundreds of little ones homeless and tortured and hungry,etc. Or at least this is the thinking about no birth control for cats. We love these little guys and I love to come into the house after being out and finding them all layed out over chairs and rugs and shelves. this is so beautiful. Seems to me that they are a gift from the Divine realms sent to grow love.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
02/06/2010
Happy Day!! NCIS marathon today. Steve and I and Buffy LOVE this program-forget our political leanings, forget how much we hate the killing and and expense of military budgets, forget that we never even come into touching distance of soldiers or military career types this ensemble is so tight and so talented that we simply love the show and look forward to watching every chance we get.
I am noticing that not only am I returning to eating patterns of earlier times or as i understand things "remembering how much food is enough for a 115 pound woman" and also learning how to be alone with myself and engaging in other activities other than continuous nibbling. I am also learning not to eat huge portions and this is big (he hee): I am increasingly eating vegetarian and more even vegan. Meat gives me a stomach ache and just sits there for hours and hours maybe even days plus I just don't like eating my friends which is how I think of animals and by the way I always have.grains and vegetables. I will still eat meat from time to time but I just don't like the experience-the oil/fat coats the inside of my mouth and I end up feeling woozy and a little nauseous so not so much and I love legumes,grains,vegetables and fruit and I am happy when eating them and I never feel like gagging. Increasingly I eat less cheese,butter and milk and usually when eating dairy I choose yogurt which gives me a tummy ache unless I eat it with grains like cereal. I have always had some degree of lactose intolerance resulting in a low grade stomach ache and low grade misery.
The thing about all this is I didn't know this would come up like this although I did "turn it over" in prayer. I wanted to go back to Overeater's Anonymous but I couldn't. I could no longer believe that I am a hopeless compulsive overeater-I no longer believe in that model although I would never say that to someone struggling to get sober no matter what the substance or belief. When people have crashed over any activity they are so wobbly, as I well know, that they in no way need to hear about anyone else's doubts and questions. AA,OA,DA do enormous good. I have no argument with them just that at this juncture OA was not the answer for me.
I am finding that as I have more days at home, more days defined by personal ideas,needs I am returning to my own natural way of living each day. I am reminded of the period at Harwood St. when I was most in touch with my natural identity. I had so much support in Joyce, Elaine, Ann, Barbara-the men were not so steady nor did I feel safe with the men.
I never felt safe with a man until Steve entered my life-fifteen years at the end of this year and we have been through the valley and to the mountain tops to write in cliche but really we have and now we are so close, so together.
Heading for the marathon now and to rest and relaxation.
I am noticing that not only am I returning to eating patterns of earlier times or as i understand things "remembering how much food is enough for a 115 pound woman" and also learning how to be alone with myself and engaging in other activities other than continuous nibbling. I am also learning not to eat huge portions and this is big (he hee): I am increasingly eating vegetarian and more even vegan. Meat gives me a stomach ache and just sits there for hours and hours maybe even days plus I just don't like eating my friends which is how I think of animals and by the way I always have.grains and vegetables. I will still eat meat from time to time but I just don't like the experience-the oil/fat coats the inside of my mouth and I end up feeling woozy and a little nauseous so not so much and I love legumes,grains,vegetables and fruit and I am happy when eating them and I never feel like gagging. Increasingly I eat less cheese,butter and milk and usually when eating dairy I choose yogurt which gives me a tummy ache unless I eat it with grains like cereal. I have always had some degree of lactose intolerance resulting in a low grade stomach ache and low grade misery.
The thing about all this is I didn't know this would come up like this although I did "turn it over" in prayer. I wanted to go back to Overeater's Anonymous but I couldn't. I could no longer believe that I am a hopeless compulsive overeater-I no longer believe in that model although I would never say that to someone struggling to get sober no matter what the substance or belief. When people have crashed over any activity they are so wobbly, as I well know, that they in no way need to hear about anyone else's doubts and questions. AA,OA,DA do enormous good. I have no argument with them just that at this juncture OA was not the answer for me.
I am finding that as I have more days at home, more days defined by personal ideas,needs I am returning to my own natural way of living each day. I am reminded of the period at Harwood St. when I was most in touch with my natural identity. I had so much support in Joyce, Elaine, Ann, Barbara-the men were not so steady nor did I feel safe with the men.
I never felt safe with a man until Steve entered my life-fifteen years at the end of this year and we have been through the valley and to the mountain tops to write in cliche but really we have and now we are so close, so together.
Heading for the marathon now and to rest and relaxation.
Friday, February 5, 2010
02/05/2010
Beth Owl's Daughter site has the Hermit as the card of the week and as she wrote this is the perfect card for this week of Imbolc. Time to go within,time alone. This week has been dedicated for me to cleaning and organizing here in our home. I love knowing that the bathroom and the kitchen are clean and ready. For what?? I don't know but perhaps for the Mother who is always near in the form of candles and incense and good food prepared for those I love and live with. Earlier in the week I felt that old resentment regarding housework and the resentment gathered in my shoulders and arms and then I realized that actually I am home taking care and I am supporting those I love who are now in school and getting all their skills together. I loved this and have been cleaning and ordering with energy and light and encouragement. I have the wonderful kittens who at six months are almost cats to keep me company. The big cat Bebe sleeps a lot in the rainy days but she does like to walk outside into our yard.
After the landlord's new fence was put in it turns out that it is much taller than the old fence and Bebe cannot get over the top. Bebe loved to lay under a bush in the neighbor's yard and watch the parade on the big street that the neighbor's yard and our driveway face. Steve and I saw her there many days. Now she has to stay here in our yard which has some nice places but is not "outside".
Today I am cooking lattkes and applesauce and some of the frozen fish I got for almost nothing at the market.At least that is for dinner. Steve said that he had not had lattkes and applesauce for years and we just happen to have many potatoes and apples so that is dinner.
Friends are coming for the Superbowl-we are not football fans but Steve and I have always rooted for the Saints and this is so exciting. I am cooking vegi chilli and guacamole and chips and I will make cookies probably chocolate chip. Maybe some potato skins for dipping in sour cream and the chili. Hope we have fun.
I think that I am moving through depression into a new phase in my life. I didn't understand that i would need to come to terms with being retired. I also wasn't that grounded in understanding my actual age. there was some little dark aarea that still believed that I could just go out and start a new way of earning a living. Well, the people who seem to be getting old and who are still working are about 20 years younger or perhaps 10 hears younger.
I have enjoyed resting and working at my own pace while ignoring the fact that I couldn't maintain the pace of commuting and then helping people deal with the insecurity of trying to live on Social Security and a pension, while keeping the budgeting and verification process timely. I had grown weary of the system knowing that most of what I did was unnecessary and even more would never do anything other than harass folk over eligibility for medical coverage. All the nitpicking just started to exhaust me and made me sad and depressed but I had an identity there that I relied on and that I once really wanted but which I outgrown the people I knew and loved as co-workers and friends and lovers and some enemies were all gone.
Also, I was a Great Society kid. I had access to welfare and school grants. I was actually protected by cash and food stamps and Medi-Cal and I was shocked by how hard it was to live on the wages I earned. The security I had known was part of Johnson's Great Society and I was blessed by that liberal trust in human beings. By the end of my career though the world was dour and mean and little minded. the people I was working with were for the most part mean and small having been raised in Reagan's society of flat out competitive race for all the money one can get hold of. Liberal philosophy pretty much hidden while the social light had turned into a spotlight to help the strong and fast to locate more treasure.
I remember when women started shaving their bodies and getting everything waxed and wearing more underwear and high heels and in the past five years clothes are tighter and more inhibiting. I even see some women holding purses with high heels and very tight clothes and feel lonely knowing that these young women are not reading the books I read nor are they wrestling with the same issues.
Oh pew!! I am ready to go grate potatoes for the lattkes. and to get ready to staart cooking the sweet little patties that will be so nice for supper. Happiness: almost everyone in this family accepts meatless meals although I never demand that anyone go vegi with me-they just do because that is what I offer.
After the landlord's new fence was put in it turns out that it is much taller than the old fence and Bebe cannot get over the top. Bebe loved to lay under a bush in the neighbor's yard and watch the parade on the big street that the neighbor's yard and our driveway face. Steve and I saw her there many days. Now she has to stay here in our yard which has some nice places but is not "outside".
Today I am cooking lattkes and applesauce and some of the frozen fish I got for almost nothing at the market.At least that is for dinner. Steve said that he had not had lattkes and applesauce for years and we just happen to have many potatoes and apples so that is dinner.
Friends are coming for the Superbowl-we are not football fans but Steve and I have always rooted for the Saints and this is so exciting. I am cooking vegi chilli and guacamole and chips and I will make cookies probably chocolate chip. Maybe some potato skins for dipping in sour cream and the chili. Hope we have fun.
I think that I am moving through depression into a new phase in my life. I didn't understand that i would need to come to terms with being retired. I also wasn't that grounded in understanding my actual age. there was some little dark aarea that still believed that I could just go out and start a new way of earning a living. Well, the people who seem to be getting old and who are still working are about 20 years younger or perhaps 10 hears younger.
I have enjoyed resting and working at my own pace while ignoring the fact that I couldn't maintain the pace of commuting and then helping people deal with the insecurity of trying to live on Social Security and a pension, while keeping the budgeting and verification process timely. I had grown weary of the system knowing that most of what I did was unnecessary and even more would never do anything other than harass folk over eligibility for medical coverage. All the nitpicking just started to exhaust me and made me sad and depressed but I had an identity there that I relied on and that I once really wanted but which I outgrown the people I knew and loved as co-workers and friends and lovers and some enemies were all gone.
Also, I was a Great Society kid. I had access to welfare and school grants. I was actually protected by cash and food stamps and Medi-Cal and I was shocked by how hard it was to live on the wages I earned. The security I had known was part of Johnson's Great Society and I was blessed by that liberal trust in human beings. By the end of my career though the world was dour and mean and little minded. the people I was working with were for the most part mean and small having been raised in Reagan's society of flat out competitive race for all the money one can get hold of. Liberal philosophy pretty much hidden while the social light had turned into a spotlight to help the strong and fast to locate more treasure.
I remember when women started shaving their bodies and getting everything waxed and wearing more underwear and high heels and in the past five years clothes are tighter and more inhibiting. I even see some women holding purses with high heels and very tight clothes and feel lonely knowing that these young women are not reading the books I read nor are they wrestling with the same issues.
Oh pew!! I am ready to go grate potatoes for the lattkes. and to get ready to staart cooking the sweet little patties that will be so nice for supper. Happiness: almost everyone in this family accepts meatless meals although I never demand that anyone go vegi with me-they just do because that is what I offer.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
02/01/2010
Groudhog Day for those who have no knowledge of Imbolc. Catholics know about Candlemass which is how the Christians turned the Pagan calendar to their beliefs.
I was a Catholic by choice in adulthood because they were the only Christians twho recognized the Feminine in the form of Mary. I prayed to Mary for years before taking the step to become Catholic. I found such joy in the rituals, in the communion and especially the early morning Mass before work. And then Pope John Paul II passed on and the new Pope Benedict took over a mean and hateful man full of what will get us comdemned, full of whats and shoulds and in my own church, the beautiful St Joseph the Worker, there was an announcement one sunday directing all Gay,Bi-sexual, Lesbian, Transgender folk to go to another church "where they will feel more welcome" and a church close to the UC campus was named. That was so shocking to me even more shocking than the pro-life, anti-choice activities and it was then even more than the moment of argument with the writers of the Nicene Creed that I realized that I am no longer a Catholic. I don't like these times in christianity although I may try to search out a Pagan Christian gathering where women are dominant and I don't see the women of accomplishment full of aggression, competition and winning here but rather those little mouses of which i am one,salt of the earth,the mothers and sisters and daighters and wives and tias. those of us who work so hard to help with the income and the soul and the body of our loved ones.
I was a Catholic by choice in adulthood because they were the only Christians twho recognized the Feminine in the form of Mary. I prayed to Mary for years before taking the step to become Catholic. I found such joy in the rituals, in the communion and especially the early morning Mass before work. And then Pope John Paul II passed on and the new Pope Benedict took over a mean and hateful man full of what will get us comdemned, full of whats and shoulds and in my own church, the beautiful St Joseph the Worker, there was an announcement one sunday directing all Gay,Bi-sexual, Lesbian, Transgender folk to go to another church "where they will feel more welcome" and a church close to the UC campus was named. That was so shocking to me even more shocking than the pro-life, anti-choice activities and it was then even more than the moment of argument with the writers of the Nicene Creed that I realized that I am no longer a Catholic. I don't like these times in christianity although I may try to search out a Pagan Christian gathering where women are dominant and I don't see the women of accomplishment full of aggression, competition and winning here but rather those little mouses of which i am one,salt of the earth,the mothers and sisters and daighters and wives and tias. those of us who work so hard to help with the income and the soul and the body of our loved ones.
Monday, February 1, 2010
02/01/2010
Happy St Brigid's day Imbolc the very stirring of spring although here in our three season climate there is not so much need to celebrate the start of spring because the rainy season is not so deadly although it can be not too far from here but Steve and I are of the coastal people and enjoy a year round steady temperature range of 50-80 roughly.
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