So I was reading Eric Frances taking about scandal and shame and the fear of shame being so overwhelming that we lie in fact lying is a good thing to do in order to avoid being guilty of committing a shameful act. He even points out that on this road we could end up lying to ourselves.
I was flooded by a feeling of being whole and comfortable and well when I imagined not being ashamed of myself. This has been the unconscious experience of shame-shame from very early on the 1st grade was filled with it because "Miss McColougha really hated me and was awful mean-I felt deep shame that I didn't know that I was bad. She shamed me with my mistakes. From then on I was overwhelmed by shame. I feel a warm and healing light and I imagine living and breathing without the burden of shame-the amazing feeling of standing and breathing in and breathing out free of the shame I have lived with since at least the age three. HMMMMMM!!! how wonderful.
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