Payday and yes I live from "check to check". family, Aimee and Courtney moved out Sunday after one of our not uncommon yelling matches. Courtney saying that she knows shit about Steve which I think is that she believes that he has a girlfriend-so do I although I now think that that is over. At any rate the level of illwill from courtney not just anger but deep illwil has frightened me and now she had chosen staying at her friend's house at 30th and Telegraph as preferable to staying here and Aimee is staying with Courtney's father in the house of his psychotic cousin. HMMMM.
Yesterday "someone" came in and stole Steve's Pismo his beloved laptop although they left behind his fender worth over $10,000 and his IMac and my timy Macmini computer-sooo-I am thinking that this wanton theft has been committed by someone close to us to teach us to lock our doors to keep out the bad guys. HIGH- LLARIOUS as Stephanie Miller says. I suppose the computer wil now be recovered-just sayin.
As to our security-we never questioned it until Aimee and her tribe moved in and brought all their drug-adled consciousness with them. Amazing that one of the reasons they stopped respecting me is my use of vicodin during this Saturn in virgo journey through carpal tunnel/trigger finger anxiety. I have had two surgergies right and left and a lot of pain in the right hand. And i believe that I do overuse the vicodin but not to the point of dysfunction. I also believe that I will wean myself off as Tonouye and I have discussed-I love the pleasure but I am not a fool and I am not a slave and I will stop in time because that is how I have always been..
I spent a few years in AA and learned a lot about addiction enoufgh to keep me form using for years. Now I seldom drink because of the liver damage already caused by diabetes meds and I have never consumed to the point of intoxiication-ever. I do however live in a culture where mood altering drugs are easily available and I use those drugs form timt to time in my life and I abhor the goody-two-shoes of the same culture and I don't like teetotalers. I am much more comfortable with those who go over the line from time to time.
At any rate back to Aimee and her tribe I found it amazing to be judged and condemned by these folks whose lives have been rined by drugs and their foolish decisions. I am talkiing about unemployed homeless folks of intelligence and strength who just chose to keep using rather than buckle down. Let others feel sympathy and maybe soemthing will get through to them for myself I am finished although I know I will give Aimee some cash. Evidently regular ingestion of street meth destroys some parts of the brain-wouldn't be surprised. I tried it once after Robert's death and found it to be ugly and exhusting couldn't believe that people would choose to continue using it. Perhaps I have more physical stamina because I was raised on old fashioned food while those younger than I have been raised on processed food and that stamina warned me that the substance called speed is deadly. I will say that Aimee (Amy) was raised on old fashioned slow cooking which no doubt accounts for her perfect skin and good teeth.
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