01/11/2010

01//11/2010

Up early again. Yesterday was one of sleeping in until the sun was already up and peace between Steve and I even with our grim financial situation.
I Ifelt so anxious wanting to express myself this morning because I woke up to Joe Scarborough with all his right-wing screed throwing an absolute fit that Harry Reid is now finished in politics because he was quoted as saying that America could now accept an African American in Obama because he is light skinned and doesn't have a southern accent though he did say something like he doesn't speak with a Negro dialect. Well every white person understands what he was pointing out even if trash like Scarborough pretend that this was racist and shocking, I tell you, shocking.

Well anyway I just got so anxious and then I realized that I just want to write and not in the narrow way of responding to the thoughts of others as expressed in the blogs I like- Astroworld and Starlight Express. So I pulled out my trusty blank piece of paper from TEXT Edit and started writing for my space in Blogger.

I am listening to MSNBC's new right-wing morning show-stupid and pointless. That little worm from C-SPAN, Chuck Todd, is the leader because he is now an Executive with NBC. I am disgusted by the use of MSNBC to get more Republicans elected. The entire approach is to denigrate Democrats with any gossip that can be stirred up. there is a disgusting little book out by editors for TIME and a paper which quotes seemingly devastating things Democrats said whithout even really trying to quote Republicans.

Hilariously the name of the new program is the Daily Rundown implying that it is a review of the political situation in DC but I also hear this as "The Daily Rundown of Democrats.

The fact is that Democrats are exceedingly corrupt and even turn my stomach but good god in heaven they have had to work in the Republican world that started with Reagan and none of this is ever acknowledged on these early morning programs. I guess the intent is to show that only right-wingers rise early and go to work.

Well here is another bitch I have been eating, bingeing since I awakened at around 5AM . bingeing on my own delicious bread and cookies. I was on fire yesterday and made the most wonderful sandwich rolls and cranberry cookies and short ribs. Delicious I tell you delicious but good god this morning I have had one roll dipped in the gravy of the short ribs and about five cookies this is dangerous for a diabetic. I have been eating as if I were a 12 year old boy just home form riding my bike and playing ball with my friends.
Okay so I just went in and took my morning meds which should help get the blood sugar down and started reminding myself that I have eaten, eaten a lot and I am full. I wonder what creates the condition for this type of binging. Was it the food I ate yesterday, the anxiety of having no cash and having to beg or perhaps all of these factors? What ever the causes I find this so very frightening but I will consider this a short relapse into old behaviors that led to me weighing over 200 pounds. I have started losing and intend to continue. The biggest factor I think was the indiscriminate eating over the holidays and especially yesterday. this is a reminder that I have a serious eating problem and I cannot play around as If I am a thin active woman who forgets to eat.

I wanted to go back to OA but in examining OA through the internet I find that I cannot take that route anymore. I cannot focus on my eating or consider it like alcoholism and perhaps it is but I just can not take that midwest Protestant attitude anymore. I have left that station and I will not be returning.

Okay someone on MSNBC is presenting the words of Trent Lott in support of a racist senator who ran on a segregationist platform in 1948. Lott said that we wouldn't have all these problems if we had elected Strom Thurmond then. To my mind what Reid said was racial but not racist while Lott's statement was plain old racism of the barest, most naked sort.

NBC and the other media outlets are disgusting in their support of only right-wing solutions