11/20/09

To see Tanouye today and this is the end of my time getting my hands and fingers repaired. Two surgeries for carpal tunnel and two for trigger release on the third and fourth fingers right hand. and a habit of vicodin for pain because I literally cannot use pain relievers-some cause trouble with cumadin and Tylenol cause bladder problems. This is also the end of the wonderful and unexpected bi-weekly checks received for 80% of my earnings-tax free and not counted against my pension/SSA income. I loved having enough $$ for everyone but explained from the beginning that they would end- I received three and used the money wisely with the exception of J.-I wanted to send her $$$ but the awful words from her dried up that generosity-she gave $300 once when I was so busted and I have never given it back. She said it was a gift but when she was recently so busted I wanted to return the money and then the storm of words condemning me and everyone in my life and all my friendships and I just quit.
QOP writes of wonderful undertakings in her community in Maine even though they voted down the opportunity to build affordable housing for the agricultural workers-racism at work here. the community afraid that all of Mexico will try to come live there. At any rate the artists and artisans and others are coming together to set up their own income producing cooperatives. This is thrilling to me-the expression of Jupiter/Chiron/Neptune working together to show a new way into the Aquarian age: how to make a living while everything is eventually done by computers and computerized machines.
I found this so exciting and wondered if we can''t get something going with the garden people. I know a woman on Oregon St who makes a raw sourkraut that she sells at Farmer's Market and at Berkeley Bowl. I don't know her details but she has been doing it for years now so something is working. I will say that the sour kraut is quite costly and I don't get it for that reason still I know that many people don't have the money restrictions that I have and I did but it a couple of times and the kraut is delicious.
QOP now QOW is able to make it because she lives in a mortgage free house and does most of her work herself and gets by on any art work she can sell. However with all the struggle her life is so wonderful that I dream of moving to Maine-impossible-this California woman has family obligations. I am NOT a single woman.
I must go to see the MD now. More later I hope-I can't always write when everyone is up-psychicly no room to let my imagination roam over my day and world.