Christmas was the craziest ever and the New Year opens with my beloved and very old Civic being mortally wounded and I can not begin to replace it until later in the month and I am still paying December's rent and the house is full with no signs of change.
Reading Deidre Bair's biography of Jung-again. I am stunned to understand the level of international wealth he moved in. I have fought for years against the natural exclusion of the proletariat from Depth Psychology-at 60 I think it is because we cannot afford the time and the expense of this type of inner work. I think this fact is active in religions or traditions such as Buddhism and Catholism-people who use most of their energy and time in survival don't really have time for the education and introspection needed for spiritual understanding.
At any rate while reading her biography again I am thinking that I have always had a father complex and I wan unable to resolve it until I was in my late 50's. I made so many destructive choices out of that complex-my father let me down was stern and weak and my religion was pretty much the same. My real father was much more tender and loving than he was free to show me-I seem to have been born fighting him and I wonder about that Moon/Pluto combust and the stories i heard about my colic,etc. I was lactos intolerent but this was not understood in 1947-both sugar and the milk caused me to be diagnosed with hypoglycemia at a very young age but I continued eating the common diet until I learned to get thin in my teens and 20's-the symptoms returned when I started working in an office and was tied to my desk and the stress of dealing with the poverty of my clients and the poverty nipping at me own ankles. Saturn in the 4th-strength but often through adversity.
My dreams talking about the upcoming eclipse-seems that this is hitting off the T-square of mars 4 Taurus/Venus 7/Taurus and Saturn 5 Leo/Moon 11 Le0 Pluto 12 Leo and Chiron 5 Scorpio. The Moons Nnode is trine my sun at 4 Gemini and far trine NNeptune at 9 Libra. At any rate I dreamed of Rick and buffy and myself as inactive reviewing (Moon's s node in 7 Leo). Rick had not matured correctly and I saw his desk was an old government issue disk I was horrified. I asked him where his beautiful desk was and he said that it was in storage because it was attacked when someone tried to kill him. that someone I believe was George-the aquarius needed to make the square whole.
This entire theme has made me very nervous reminding me that we don't know the time or day of out death but for sure the time and day is there born with us I think.