Okay!! a message from my former sister-in-law on my google site. she found me through The Other White Pages. I responded. Lisa gone now and I feel regret and remose that is withering because that story will never be anything but tragic and I don't want to in any way try to 'make it better'.
last night actually an early dream. I am in the country with my beloved partner and we are visiting and even I am alone in certain parts such as when I am living on Harwood and everything is white. there is a new shopping complex and I go there with cash and cards but nothing is really open for business. I go to the back and there is a food court I help some other people get their meals and then I want a chicken sald and there is nothing available and this young man who works there says that he will get me a meal. After a very long time and much complaining from me he returns with my meal but the meal is all chicken and other preprepared items and there is no lettuce. He says thatt the cost is $51 I am shocked and i complain because I have already paid for other eaters and I thought that my meal would be gratis of much cheaper. I sort of beat him up and just generally raise a ruckus but everyone agrees that I owe the $51. I pay but I scratch his car in the parking lot and i don't like him although i realize that everyone realizes that I have gotten shaby treatment and he is my inferior still I am making an ass of muyself. Then we my dear one and I are up in the mountains with people we belong with only sometimes I am alone. There is an atmosphere of being tested, of going downstream quickly. One young man I remember but most I remember being connected with people who don't like me much and I have tyo succeed at some trial but I never really know if I suceeded or failed but I sure get used up. I am in a chuch which is also a house which is also a duplex. A young Japenese man has dogs, puppies large and small I help him with his puppies and go to some social gathering in the fromtroom/porch of the house which has a lot of crystal and lace and shiney wood-a lovely room really furnished by his parents over the decades. He loves the dogs and is very concerned that the grow up well. I go on into the social setting and I am walking in Manitou by the Episcopal church and there is the feeling of more lace and crystal and brick and brass. One young man is terrified that he is homosexual because he has had some experience with an older gay amn I tell him that he is not gay that he is just deepening his understanding of people amd himself but he is so afraid. Another young man his angry because he hasn't been healed and I explain that he hasn't experienced healing because he hasn't yet lived out his complex that we can only be healed of what we have actually lived, incarnated as it were
HMMM Neptune in the 6th I believe is the theme of this dream.